How to LIVE by CHOICE

Here is a choice for you. Read this article or not.

Yes or no. Whatever the answer is, take it.

Yes? Good.

No? No hard feelings.

Good. You have just made a decision.

Hear it from me.

The ability to make concrete decisions is a vital part of success.

In my entire life I have never admired a person who uttered the phrase: “You know, I just kind of want to go with whatever comes and see what happens.” Never.

Let me ask you. Does that sentence inspire confidence and trust in you?

No.

Do you know why? It is because it is wishy-washy.

Wishy-washy is not for me, and definitely not for those with DISCPLINE.

Whether we like it or not, there are choices around each corner of life. When coming face-to-face with a hard decision (aka a real decision), most people do one of three things.

1. They ignore it,

2. They pass it off as somebody else’s responsibility, or

3. They DECIDE to face it head on.

I relate with the third option. I prefer to grab choice by the horns and claim it as my OWN. That is how I build a unique identity. By choosing and not waiting.

Looking back, it was not always this way.

Growing up, no one ever looked me straight in the eye and told me to decide for myself. My mother chose what I ate for dinner; my father drove me to my basketball games and guitar lessons; my teachers decided what to teach me; my friends and I did things because they were fun and because other kids were doing them. In college, the realm of choice suddenly appeared and smacked me right in the face.

There was a time when I bounced back and forth between commitments, both to myself and to others. My subconscious programming told me to wait for some heavenly force to determine what I was going to do with my life. I rejected the responsibility of making decisions in daily life and in the long term scheme. I deferred responsibility time after time. Instead of giving myself permission to create MY life how I see fit, I waited for the blocks to come falling into place. I wanted my life planned FOR me, and so I waited and waited and waited.

Things happened, but I wasn’t the driver. I was sitting in the passenger seat of my own life.

Let me tell you something.

Waiting kills dreams.

Each of us will have different reasons for waiting. Some of us are waiting for permission. If that is the case, let me be the first to congratulate you. You’re free. Always were, always will be.

You’re welcome.

Some of us are worried about the consequences of our choices, without realization that a choice is NOT choice if it has no consequence. Whatever the reason, here is my suggestion to you:

Decide to decide.

Just make a choice, no matter how right or wrong it seems. It doesn’t matter that other people do not share your views or ambition. They are not you and never will be. If the key stake holder in any choice is you, then who else has the right to decide?

I repeat.

Waiting kills dreams.

Let me tell you something else. I do not believe in making every choice perfect, because life is not about being perfect. Perfect is for cowards who believes that anything defying their fragile egos is imperfection.

Winners know better.

Pain is a privilege. –Bruce Lee

Life is about being present, and being authentic. We are not robots.

We have this thing called a heart.

A heart is the manifestation of all our morality and principle. The heart is a tested and proven decision maker, along with reason.  Only whereas reason rightfully takes time to process and arrive at a conclusion, the heart already knows the answer before the question finishes.

Stop over-complicating things. Give your heart your ear, and just. Make up. Your. Damn. Mind.

Never forget, you chose the way you walk.

I am not telling you to not think. I AM telling you to not overthink where overthinking is not needed. You do not need to brainstorm a thousand reasons why you shouldn’t do something when you clearly want it in your heart.

Your heart is never in conflict with what you want, so stop abusing your reason into pretending you don’t want it.

Here is a quote by Morpheus to drive the point home.

Moreover, you should NEVER revoke your membership in the decision making club in YOUR life- Not for anyone or anything. Never.

Unless you prefer to live in wishy-washy world.

Don’t live in wishy-washy world. Live in Decide-Do land.

Robert Frost never waited around the trees uttering “whatever’s”. He got off his butt and took the road less traveled by.

That made all the difference.

Until next time.

Your friend,

-Tie