Countless times you have succumbed to your urges.
Here you are, about to do it again.
Your brain is not your friend, at least not right now.
You can barely think.
I know because I’ve been here. More times you than you can ever remember.
I’ve been down this road countless times. I know how this will end.
I already sense your shame. Your weakness is all too apparent.
I see the little boy. He just wants to win for once.
Against himself.
Yet he thinks he has already lost. He has already made up his mind to relapse.
Relapse.
He knows the consequences, yet they seem distant now.
And in one instant it’s over.
Numbed to his very bones. I see the crying child picking up the pieces of himself from the floor.
My eyes are swollen, can’t you see?
Tomorrow he may say he tried, but that the demon in him was too much to overcome.
Tomorrow and tomorrow.
Tomorrow is a comforting mistress, I can assure you.
But.
Tomorrow isn’t here yet.
Right now is not tomorrow. Right now is where you can chose to make your fight.
This road is not for you. Not this time.
You CAN break the cycle- Even if I have failed.
You ask me will it hurt? Absolutely. Probably a lot.
But trust me, you would rather hurt than be me.
Suffer now. Suffer like hell, if that is what it takes to not be me.
But never give up.
Never give in.
DO YOU HEAR ME?
You are a human being. Not a slave.
That fine morning when you quit me and the mistress, I will look at you with pride.
But if not, I will still be here cheering you on.
Day after day. Month after month. Until you become the captain of your soul, and I am but a faint memory.
You have another chance now.
Go seize it.
Your eternal friend.
-The relapsed
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